TRAVIESO MUCHO

2011-03-03T23:09:00.000-08:00

A Guest post by Scather of Scathing Weekly on the mundane annoying experience that we all hope will SOMEDAY (optimist huh?) be worth it.

Adventures at the Post Office

Scather, Scathing Weekly.

This morning was a MAD rush to finish a paper for a journal to send it overseas. I had to post it Express
Post (which cost jolly $11 for the cheapest envelope they had...!) and when I got to the post office,
they didn't have a yellow Express Box, so I had to stand in queue to post it. When I got to the desk,
the woman goes "Oh, it's so big and thick". I was like 'So?!~' (btw, using the single quotation marks
to represent mental, not verbal snapping). She starts to read off the package what size and weight it
is allowed to be, and reads out "500 grams, oh, this is definitely over 500 grams, you will have to pay
more."
She weighs the package to prove her point to me. It's not 500 grams. It's not even 400 grams. That's
right, it's only slightly over 300 grams. 309 grams.

She looks at the package in disbelief.

Then she weighs it again.

Surprise surprise, the weight of the package has indeed not changed and the machine once again comes
up with 309 grams.

Finally, she reads out the size restrictions. "Up to 200 mm thick. Oh, this is definitely over 200 mil." she
says.

She measures the pack, and what do you know, it is not even 100 mm thick.

CRANKY.

2010-11-22T09:21:00.000-08:00

The gut wrenching pain of knowing I can never be as wise, logical or inspiring as she was. To more people than I knew existed on Earth. To feel stuck in the midst of a conflict zone where there is a bias. She never chose one over the other. Yet, the bias seems pretty obvious to one and not the other. It hurts so much that there are days I want to just stop and yell out. "she loved us both."
Now that she is gone, I have no proof. Just a strong will to try my best to correct the wrong belief.
How do I correct this when time and time again it comes up before I am able to wrap my head around what is going on in that moment? How do I explain that the only reason it seems so is because I am more docile and that I know when to shut up.
What do you do when you are stuck between a rock and a hard place or the devil and the deep blue sea or your father and your sister?
How do I tap into that incredible strength she had, the incredible understanding of humanity that put things in perspective?
How do I assure the two of them that I am not choosing sides and that I just want to be. How do I break the sense of utter loneliness that prevails when there is the usual misunderstanding because they chose different ways to get to the same point?
Where do I find the strength??? Can she channel it to me thru something? Must I do it by myself. I feel too young to deal with it even though I am not. How do I do it???

2009-10-29T04:05:00.000-07:00

I watched "The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus" today. The play of images on one's imagination, combined with the tie-in of morality made me question the world today. Have we become too busy to either use our imagination or heed basic morality? Personally, I drift off into my imagination several times a day for a few minutes and I love it there! Everything there makes more sense. However, my imagination is not all good. It isn't a paradise, like the one Tony sees with Valentina. It isn't full of things that make me happy. My imagination has both good and bad stuff. Its more real that the world I see around me.
So the question I now have is this. How many of us would wander into Dr. Parnassus' imaginarium without worrying about forfeiting our souls to the devil?
What are the things that prevent us from walking into the imaginarium?
I'd walk into his imaginarium gladly. All the things I would see in there would even each other out quite well I think.
I'd probably hear all my favourite rock bands playing on separate stages, drug lords tempting the people around me to smoke up while I would get passively high. There would be a lot of dogs running all over the place, and motorcycles parked all over free for me to ride. I'd see a horde of select men whom I shall not specify here. There would be good single malt whisky available on tap, and possibly some beer. There would be a large number of books ranging from Tinkle, Archie Comics and Noddy to Pride and Prejudice. Cartoons ranging from Daffy Duck and Bugs Bunny to Monsters Inc. All kinds of movies, plants and beaches with gorgeous blue oceans. I would travel from one section to the other on a machine that is a cross between a surf board, V rod, and yacht.
There will be an endless choice of temptations that I may give into, with their consequences mentioned like a calorific chart behind a chocolate bar.
I would be able to find all the people I have lost touch with to get a glimpse into their lives, and not be able to edit the situation. Just see.

On the other hand, I wonder if I live to much in my imagination? Have I stopped catching up with the latest temptations and ulterior motives that people around me have? Is that why I seem to get into the situations I sometimes end up in? Should I fear the imaginarium more? Would I end up in a bleak world with dying trends that are not compatible with the present if I walked in?
These thoughts are shifting shapes in my mind like a boggart...
What do you think your imaginarium would be like?

2009-09-07T06:10:00.000-07:00

Devil, Devil-ish, or Victim?

Have you ever noticed the immense pleasure you get from wandering aimlessly through the city, window shopping or chatting online with friends (watching TV or cleaning and re-arranging a very well arranged apartment is just as effective) the day before an assignment is due? Something about knowing you should be working on your assignment with all engines on full capacity makes you want to divert them to opposite interests. The more you try to sit and focus on the task, the more people tell you interesting things happening around you and tempt you away from it.

I recently got addicted to Reaper, a TV series about the Devil tempting people into selling their souls. I wonder if this is how the Devil tempts students into selling their souls. It is an interesting tactic I must say. Step one: Tempt teachers into suggesting long and weary assignments. Step two: tempt parents into paying oodles of money to universities as fees. Step three: tempt students into aiming to do well in assignments. Step four: make them forget their deadlines. Step five: introduce interruptions and distractions in the form of all God’s creations with an edge to them. Step six: Dangle a carrot called ‘High Distinction’ , ‘appreciation’, ‘careers’ or ‘money in the future’ in front of their faces, close enough to touch, but a few millimetres off reach. Step seven: Sit back and wait for them to pray to God for more time or that they finish on time. Then swoop in, offer the extra time they pray for, the HD they wish for, the appreciation, careers and money in exchange for their souls. Once the souls no longer belong to the people, the easiest thing to do is to make them act according to his or her every whim.

I say his or her because I really am quite convinced that the Devil appears as hot men to women and as a hot woman to men. And to support my theory, I was visited by a very interesting musician the day before my essay was due. He sang songs that made me swoon. He told me stories about his life that made me gape at him with awe. Now when I don’t have any assignments due in the immediate future, I haven’t seen him! I haven’t even heard him! A friend of mine had an essay due today. Yesterday, I hounded her into playing Monopoly on a board so small, that it wouldn’t even be able to serve as a coaster for a decent pint of beer. I made her squint to read the names of the places on the board, count money and calculate rent. After that, I made her come out drinking and bowling with some common friends. Later that night, I’m sure she silently cursed, wished, prayed and hoped she would finish her work. And she did. I am not convinced she owns her soul anymore.

My flatmate had an early morning class. After some excellent beer at a local pub, she was in the ‘groove’ and wanted more alcohol. I am not sure if I tempted her or if the Devil himself did. After walking a short distance, we entered a different pub that had a bowling alley attached to it. We ordered a few drinks and flirted with the bartender. The fact that we got a bartender too smashed to tell the difference between Australian dollars or Monopoly currency, who later offered us a game of bowling on the house seems like a true tempt. We should have left, but we took the bait and ended up doing a bunch of B52s, tequila shots and more before rolling into our apartment prepared to drift into a slumber. As expected my flatmate didn’t attend her morning class. Do you see a pattern here? Am I the common factor in all these scenarios? Am I the devil in her female form? However, I am not hot, I don’t look tempting in any way, nor do I have any special powers that I know of. However, another common factor in these scenarios is the smooth talking flirt that I became. Was I empowered with devil-ish powers in them? I’m not complaining about any of it at all. However, I am incredibly fascinated, suspicious and delighted by it.

2009-05-03T22:53:00.000-07:00

The Turn of Events- Fairly Chilled out to a Screwball day.

I had been talking to a friend on the phone for a while when suddenly I got nauseous. THAT should have given me a hint about what kind of day I was gonna have. But no…. I had to be my freakishly optimistic self and let the day go on assuming it would be a good day. As sleep took over my brain functions, I began having nightmares about being in a strange land where I don’t know a single soul and everyone I try to approach is really sarcastic to me and I am called a loner. I am not a loner. I am a people’s person, a jolly person apparently. But then how can people do that? I walk to a ticket counter and ask the person where I am. She points to a machine next to me and holds up a sign that says “I only talk to people who live here”. Blooming Hell! I thought. Talk about impersonal and rude! So I go to the machine and find that I am in a place called Grifimeitz which is about 80 miles to Berlin. I have not the slightest of clues how I managed to get there in the first place, I don’t have my passport, I don’t have my wallet, I have $20 in my hand and I don’t know where to exchange it either! What a nightmare!
The sound of a dog barking on the street woke me up and I thanked my luck that it was a dream, while also cursing just how real it felt.

2008-07-13T23:11:00.000-07:00

"OhMyDog!"

That's what I said to a friend one day while chatting on Gtalk. I was telling her about how I wanted to start a dog sitting business and she showed me a picture of a really cute mutt! Call it a typo or some kind of luck, That's what I decided to call my dog sitting business. Gone were the ideas of Doggy Daze, Puppy-dog Tales, Guddog and No Barking. I printed out banners, spammed friends begging them to spam all the people they knew, advertised it at Vet clinics and Pet stores including Glenands on Church Street.
That's when I met Hercules. Yeah the lil rascal on the wicker chair is him. 6 months old and already almost a pony, he is a cross between a Bloodhound and a Great Dane. His owner Ridhima, was really apprehensive about leaving him at home with me while she attended her kids School Day function. Apparently he had a habit of tearing, chewing,breaking or spilling anything he could if left alone at home. Of course the fact that he is still a puppy and not a dog completely skipped her mind...

I promised to take good care of him and train him as best I can and we bid her goodbye at the gate together. Once I knew she was nowhere in a 20 feet radius of us, I started playing with Hercules. The nutty pooch jumped on me and knocked me to the ground in 10 seconds flat! We then found an old football in the garden and kicked it about in our own version of tackle football. Fairly tired out after that, we both guzzled down tonnes of water and sat down to watch a little TV.

At about 6 or so in the evening, Hercules decided he was hungry and started chewing on my toes. For fear of friendly amputation of toes, I hunted around for his food. Turns out that since he IS called Hercules, his food has to be kept well out of reach. Short person that I am, I had to climb on a chair to reach thee cupboard and get out his puppy meal. Pedigree Vegetables and rice, with a boiled egg and Soy nuggets put in a really cute bowl(or should I call it tub) with separate sections for each item. The tub(!) was big enough to fit a fully grown daschund in it! Once his meal was ready I was pleased to find him sitting patiently across the room waiting. I patted his head and said "good dog. yes!" but he wouldn't eat. I went up to him and knelt in front of him and he offered me his paw. That's when I realized that just because my dog at home waits for the command "good dog, yes!" doesn't mean all dogs work that way... I shook his hand and watched him literally Inhale his food... I wondered if he had ever learnt the word CHEW or if all food went straight from the bowl to his stomach completely bypassing his teeth! I took him for a short walk just outside the house after he ate and made sure he didn't mess the house up.
Once we got back, I found him guzzling water yet again... I guess the nutty puppy needs the fluids. We then decided to sunbathe together while he snoozed and I read my novel. Finally, Hercules decided that he was not grateful enough and slobbered all over my face and hands, just in time for Ridhima to come back and be knocked to the ground just as I was earlier that day. She was fascinated at how clean the house was and how happy Hercules appeared that she paid me Rs.550 for a lil under 2 hours when I charge 200 per hour or per session. OhMyDog! was on its way...
The next day she sent me an email which she CCd to all her friends with dogs. Very soon, I had a request to sit another dog- an Irish setter called Ruby. But that's another story for another day! remembering that session still makes me Dog tired!

2007-10-08T22:23:00.000-07:00

Finding room-mates can be a tricky thing.... While in Hyd and working there, I found
myself constantly shifting around and changing roomies... every quarter a new place or roomie.... it was nice but a lil taxing...
Finding this roomie however was a lotta fun... here's how it went....

My description of my place....

I have a fully furnished 2 BHK flat in A.C Guards, Masab Tank which is right next to the Deputy Commissioner's house. It's cozy and fully Furnished with Dining table, arm chairs and washing machine and all kitchen appliances. I have personally furnished it and have been living there Since July. It's 20 mins drive from Hi-tec City, (approx. 8-9 km) and has hospital, shops Trinethra and Medical Shops at walking distance. I am looking for a female room-mate, who understands personal Space and is willing to pay 5500 rent(negotiable). The rent of the flat is Rs. 7500+500 maintenance. Water tax and electricity bill extra. But I have supplied bedding and fully furnished the house on my own.
The room will be available by 31st October as mentioned in the subject!
A little about me... I like reading and music of all kinds(except rap and trance). Passionate about languages, speak a little frencha dns panish. I write poetry and aim to write a book in the next 5 years. still looking for a muse!

This is the response I got....

[...And, so it goes....]

A furnished house, you say, quaint and cozy
And a flat mate who likes poetry
It couldn’t have been better
If it wasn’t for the lesser
Important issue of the rent, you see.

Punjagutta is where I’m currently housed
And therefore, my curiosity is significantly aroused
How a place like Masab-Tank
That fares lower on the rank
Has such dastardly rents espoused

Despite Punjagutta, I swear on the Granth
Taking your chagrin’s brunt
I’ll put it this way
All my expenses today
Don’t amount to more than 3,500 a month

The washing machine is replaced by the maid
Who is currently generously paid
To mop, clean and scrub
And deal with the clothes in the tub
Which she does with alacrity everyday

The furniture of course is rented
And to be fair, is sparingly dented
But each fits in
And the house is well lived-in
And so the subject is seldom lamented

Though if I were you, I would do the same
Because it would be rather insane
To buy all the stuff
And lamentably enough
Have to share it with a stranger in vain

But here is the deal, I hope it makes sense
Holding the actual house-seeing in abeyance
What do you say -
If I agree to pay,
Rs.4,500 a month, to the pence?

I would have replied to you earlier
But was in this pursuit of making things merrier
And as a poetess you know
I don’t have to tell you so
Hurrying hardly makes rhyming any prettier

Then I was faced with a major dilemma...... and this is what I did...

Hi!
Please send me your Contact Info and Here goes...(I must warn you I am quite sleepy today)

Furnishing and Appliances
May a luxury seem.
Maid to clean and wash
A convenience been.
Hunting for a fridge yet
Not too many things or ways of life set
Hanging over my Head
is this room-mate scene
By the 20th or so
my current room-mate leave
Honesty gets the best of me.
The room to let is small but clean.
More cupboards than mine
More ventilation too
But unfortunately no attached loo!
Your offer seems good to me
A Haggle of Price doesnt seem.
If today you're free then
Contact me
On 9885438017 and we'll meet
My cozy abode
You can see.
Personal space
I crave for too
Poetry Writing
A book or two?
Irish Music and Spanish food
A peaceful home
Not much to brood!

One really strange question do I pose
Thought of this house please dont dispose.
Casandra_violet or Vinith Robinson
Unable to tell
Guy or Gal
My awkwardness here
please put to rest!

We had a realy good laugh when we met and then she moved in.... for 6 months she was my roomie. the longest yet... and we laughed about this incident for most of it....

Now I live back at home in Bangalore and I must say I miss those days a lot...
Cheers to us weird poets... maybe we should have a weird poetry society for funny stuff we've written that we dont really consider part of our serious writing....What say u?

2006-12-03T22:05:00.000-08:00

Cassé

Parle parle parle
parle à moi...
Les mots j'esepere
Que tu comprends
Mais tu comprends rien
Où tu fiends...
Que passé t-il?
Nous etions des bon amis
Main Maintenant
Hèlas!